Life Tips

Life Tips

How to Have a Positive AttitudeCreating a Successful Relationship

Reflections on Life

TOP TEN TIPS ON HOW TO HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

1. Take ownership of your attitude

We control our attitude. It is not something that is genetically or environmentally determined. Each of us can decide what our attitude is going to be. We can choose to have a positive attitude about life. A ready smile is a gift to all those around you.

2. Eliminate tolerations

Tolerations are the things that we put up with and don't really have to. We all tolerate more than we realize. Think about what you are tolerating. Just becoming aware of and articulating some of your tolerations will bring them to the forefront and you'll naturally start handling, eliminating, fixing, and resolving them.

3. Live in the present

Let go of living in the past or in the future and enjoy the present.

4. Let go of things that don't matter

Much energy can be spent on being irritated and annoyed by things that really don't matter much.

5. Be non-judgmental

Let go of being critical of others. Try instead to listen and understand. As you open yourself up to not judging others you will be able to accept and enjoy yourself and others more.

6. Make shifts that reflect who you are

For behavior to change, it has to be grounded on your values. The focus needs to be on what you want in your life, not just on the change that you want to make. For example: I will exercise three times a week and I will not eat after 7 o'clock. Shift: I am someone who values my body and I will eat only healthy foods.

7. Let go of shoulds and coulds

Shoulds and coulds are other people's voices that you carry in your head. Instead, listen to yourself and take responsibility for what you can and want to do.

8. Have fun

Take delight in life and create fun experiences for yourself.

9. Invest energy in the people that you love and care about

Meaningful relationships are developed and sustained by positive attitudes and commitment.

10. Be spiritual

“One cannot lead a life that is truly excellent without feeling that one belongs to something greater and more permanent than oneself.”                                                                                --Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
                                                                                                Finding Flow

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TOP TEN TIPS FOR CREATING A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

A relationship is successful when two people have found a way to relate to each other where each feels accepted, valued, and loved by the other.

1. Establish a relationship of equality

Start with the premise that both of you are of equal worth. This keeps you from getting caught up in the struggle of who has power over the other. Appreciating each other as being equally valuable will bring strength to your relationship.

2. Take responsibility for yourself

You alone are responsible for yourself. What an awesome expectation! It is also very freeing to realize that one does not have to be a victim to the past, the oughts and shoulds, but can choose how to lead one's own life. The more each person in a relationship takes good care of self, the more each can also give in the relationship.

3. Let go of blame, criticism, and judging

Blame, criticism, and judging get you right back into the arena of who is right and who is wrong. Instead say what you are feeling and thinking by using the pronoun I. It is far more powerful and will let your partner know how you were affected by whatever was just said or done.

4. Go for win-win

In most situations that need to be handled you can come to an understanding that leaves both people feeling OK. There are, however, times when something matters so much to one person that the win-win comes from giving support to that person. If there is a winner and a loser, both people lose.

5. Take 20 minutes each day to talk with each other

Since most people lead very busy lives it becomes important to set specific time aside to connect with each other.

6. Have fun together

Laugh together, find things that you enjoy doing together, find joy around you.

7. Respect each other's feelings

Allow each other the right to whatever you feel; however, take responsibility for sharing your feelings in a way that you truly get heard.

8. Say or do something to enhance your partner every day

9. Accept each other as you are

10. Give love freely and it will come back to you

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kristina@kristinavonr.com • 443 822-8023

Annapolis, Maryland

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