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TEN TIPS ON HOW TO HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
1.
Take ownership of your attitude
We control our attitude. It is not something that is genetically
or environmentally determined. Each of us can decide what our
attitude is going to be. We can choose to have a positive attitude
about life. A ready smile is a gift to all those around you.
2.
Eliminate tolerations
Tolerations are the things that we put up with and don't really
have to. We all tolerate more than we realize. Think about what
you are tolerating. Just becoming aware of and articulating some
of your tolerations will bring them to the forefront and you'll
naturally start handling, eliminating, fixing, and resolving them.
3.
Live in the present
Let go of living in the past or in the future and enjoy the present.
4.
Let go of things that don't matter
Much energy can be spent on being irritated and annoyed by things
that really don't matter much.
5.
Be non-judgmental
Let go of being critical of others. Try instead to listen and
understand. As you open yourself up to not judging others you
will be able to accept and enjoy yourself and others more.
6.
Make shifts that reflect who you are
For behavior to change, it has to be grounded on your values.
The focus needs to be on what you want in your life, not just
on the change that you want to make. For example: I will exercise
three times a week and I will not eat after 7 o'clock. Shift:
I am someone who values my body and I will eat only healthy foods.
7.
Let go of shoulds and coulds
Shoulds and coulds are other people's voices that you carry in
your head. Instead, listen to yourself and take responsibility
for what you can and want to do.
8.
Have fun
Take delight in life and create fun experiences for yourself.
9.
Invest energy in the people that you love and care about
Meaningful relationships are developed and sustained by positive
attitudes and commitment.
10.
Be spiritual
“One cannot lead a life that is truly excellent without feeling
that one belongs to something greater and more permanent than
oneself.” --Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi
Finding
Flow
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TEN TIPS FOR CREATING A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP
A
relationship is successful when two people have found a way to
relate to each other where each feels accepted, valued, and loved
by the other.
1.
Establish a relationship of equality
Start
with the premise that both of you are of equal worth. This keeps
you from getting caught up in the struggle of who has power over
the other. Appreciating each other as being equally valuable will
bring strength to your relationship.
2.
Take responsibility for yourself
You
alone are responsible for yourself. What an awesome expectation!
It is also very freeing to realize that one does not have to be
a victim to the past, the oughts and shoulds, but can choose how
to lead one's own life. The more each person in a relationship
takes good care of self, the more each can also give in the relationship.
3.
Let go of blame, criticism, and judging
Blame,
criticism, and judging get you right back into the arena of who
is right and who is wrong. Instead say what you are feeling and
thinking by using the pronoun I. It is far more powerful and will
let your partner know how you were affected by whatever was just
said or done.
4.
Go for win-win
In
most situations that need to be handled you can come to an understanding
that leaves both people feeling OK. There are, however, times
when something matters so much to one person that the win-win
comes from giving support to that person. If there is a winner
and a loser, both people lose.
5.
Take 20 minutes each day to talk with each other
Since
most people lead very busy lives it becomes important to set specific
time aside to connect with each other.
6.
Have fun together
Laugh
together, find things that you enjoy doing together, find joy
around you.
7.
Respect each other's feelings
Allow
each other the right to whatever you feel; however, take responsibility
for sharing your feelings in a way that you truly get heard.
8.
Say or do something to enhance your partner every day
9.
Accept each other as you are
10.
Give love freely and it will come back to you
